One of the biggest questions I’m asked countless times, is how did I get into BDSM, and what was My first experience with it. Well I could write a novel on this subject alone, but I will sum it up the best I can here, but still be descriptive enough so that people “get it” better.

When I was a very young teen I stumbled upon some books about BDSM, specifically about female Dominants. All My life I was taught that I was suppose to be submissive and the man in the relationship the Dominant (not exactly in those words, but that’s how I took it). In My eyes I thought I was doomed to either be single the rest of My life or have to go against all My strong feelings and submit to whatever My “man” wanted of Me. It made Me feel so degraded, like I was insignificant, and I just couldn’t handle it. Before finding these books… I went into severe depression over trying to accept what society and My mother was trying to tell Me that I HAD to be. It never ever felt right to Me. So once I found these books My entire world lit up! I saw the light. That society was completely wrong, that I could be what deep down I knew I was, and I knew for a long time I was. I became addicted to reading Mistress stories. They were My romance novels haha. I started to understand what exactly I had been doing all along to boyfriends I had, to others who were born submissive, etc. I had fantasies so often about the day I could finally be the Mistress in those stories. To embrace My Dominance and get the control and power I knew deep down I was meant to have. Is My Dominance psychological? Very much so. Just as a submissive, it’s psychological, they NEED to be submissive, I NEED to be Dominant. And these days I’m taking it out on you lucky boys haha.

I tried to a few times when I started seriously dating to Top some of My boyfriends. And I won’t lie, I scared many of them away haha. I’m sure even if they were submissive, they were just too young to know and accept it. And to get past the roles society has placed on them. I fully know and accept that it IS harder for a submissive male in todays society than a Dominant female. We both have issues with societal views breathing down our necks, but submissive males do get more heat about it. Trying to Top some of My dates often got dangerous when they tried to assert their Dominance! But I was so young and inexperienced, it was hard to know or tell who was or wasn’t really submissive. This was something I had to learn over time.

I finally got My moment to shine once in My mid/late teens when I met My first real submissive, that knew she was and accepted it. Yes, My first sub was a female! Shocker? No. Now I fully understand why it was easier to find a female submissive than a male. I don’t think that 98% of people discover who they truly are until their 20′s at least! So how was I to expect that anyone near My age as a teen would already know themselves as I knew who I was? I know I was foolish for that. But we all learn the hard way haha. I met My first sub through friends. She was so gorgeous I just had to go talk to her. She had long dark hair, bright crystal blue eyes and a body to literally DIE for! I got so excited to find out she was bisexual! Within the first week started dating. She brought up that she’s submissive! The instant I heard her say it, it was like the biggest high ever. So we started engaging in D/s roles and play.

For the first time I was experiencing being My true self. Experiencing the empowerment I had longed for. And she told Me she had submitted to a male Dom before, but it was no where near as rewarding as serving Me. She explained how it was all sexual to him, no real depth to it or sensuality. And with Me it was sexual, deep, and sensual. It made Me feel like I was on top of the world. And I really did love this girl, even though she was My sub (I know that’s hard to comprehend for some). Everything with her completed us both. It was My first real D/s relationship, I’ve had several intense relationships since. I’m always looking for intense experiences with wholly devoted submissives.

You wouldn’t imagine the hot and sexy scenes that went on between us! It was just so magical. I could go on and on about it for days, but I will leave it at this. This was how I first got an interest in BDSM and how I came to have My first experience in it.